Cool Stuff: The Nicolas Cage Adventure Set
Over the weekend, I found myself at a mall. It was awful. For a sec, I considered going to a movie, but then I realized the sight of hundreds of chubby teenage girls with chubbies forPasty Pattinsonwould give me an anxiety attack or the fear. Not only that, but every movie playing I had either seen or…lackedNicolas Cage. That’s when I realized: I would be tempted to seePrecious(yuck),The Blind Side(yuck) orNew Moon(girls and gays, you are on f***ing notice) if Cage was starring.
The sensation of watching a terrible movie and feeling like a caged animal and watching a terrible movie with Cage acting like one is categorically different. It’s the difference between being punched and robbed by a stranger and slapped by a girlfriend because you deserved it (and subconsciously craved it). During this lonely mall moment, I so could have used the newNicolas Cage Adventure SetfromBrandon Bird.He’s the artist behind the classicPhilip Seymour HoffmanHalloween costumeposter that we all dig. Hand your lucky crack pipe over to an invisible lizard and explore this braintainment!
Here is the rundown from Bird for the $10 play set…available here.
The Nicolas Cage Adventure Setconsists of a double-sided 8.5 x 11 inch play background and one 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of nine vinyl cling stickers: 3 full-body Nicolas Cages, battle axe, skateboard, ice cream cone, scary ghost, parrot, and space helmet. Create scenes, mix and match accessories. Vinyl cling stickers can be used again and again!
I dig that the skeletal spectre is included, as it plays into next year’s release of Cage’s shitty-soundstage-lookingSeason of the Witch. Peter recently posted atrailerin case any Cage enthusiasts missed it. However, I’m already wishing that the parrot could be zapped into an iguana as tribute toBad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, and I’ll pretend the ice cream cone is an amphetamine-reptile (records?) induced hallucination. But pink skateboard decks and proportional battle-axes are worth a squirt.
There is little doubt that Bird’s stickers will be a huge hit, so perhaps he can make a more expensive and lavish version using all of the shit that Cage blew $38 million on. AsVulturerecently reiterated in flabbergasted awe…
Among Cage’s purchases were several yachts, a jet, a castle, over 50 cars, over $1 million dollars worth of comic books includingAction Comics Number Onewhich featured the very first appearance of Superman, several mansions including one in New Orleans (that may or may not be haunted), two Bahamanian islands, real shrunken heads, and a $500,000 Lamborghini once owned by the Shah of Iran.
He also has dropped $276,000 on a dinosaur skull (reportedly out-bidding Johnny Depp), 2 non-malt liquor real King Cobras (Moby and Sheba) and a pet octopus.
The joy provided by well-crafted stickers ofall that jazzwould cease allowing me to notice the release of the next 20Twilightfilms (anyone who believes Summit will stop at the original source material after the fourth film:please). But wait! The flip of the “haunted castle” background isan edible cockroacha mortgaged Bahamanian island…
<3 Escape. <3
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